Hello, this is David and if you’ve been played by a man, perhaps more than once and you want to ensure that stops today, well on today’s article.
I’m going to be sharing with you how to significantly reduce the risk of being played by men. So stick with me.
Hello, this is David welcome to relationshipadvicetip.com where I share with conscious ambitious heart centered and successful women how you can create the relationship of your dreams attract the kind of guy you want without any type of gimmicks or manipulation and as a result of stepping to the most alive and the most feminine version of you now.
I get that phone call I get that email I get that request for help when someone a woman feels played by a man. So the first thing I have to say to you right now is that not all women who feel played were really played and it’s important for you to have the right definition of being played so that you have the opportunity to change it in the future.
So first step is I’m going to say there’s four types of being played but only one of them in my mind is being played
1.He premeditates you (premeditated)real.
He wants to get something from you and he scheme.And he manipulates only to get that thing and when he gets his thing whether it’s having sex with you, whether it’s cash from you, whether its status from Association from your friends anything then he gets what he wants and then he can move on or he drops you quickly, right that’s premeditated.
And that’s the true being played by a guy. Now. I’m going to say to you right now that the vast majority of women who feel played by men are not do not fit into this category. This would probably be the smallest category of all of them. The other ones are just confusing stages that are not really being played but feel that way
What does that mean? That means that your vision for the life the love of the future that you want. his vision for the life and the love of the future that he wants or the way to go about it are not in agreement and both of you both not just him did not communicate at the level that you needed to to understand.
This was the case. So obviously when you found out it’s a mismatch.
He doesn’t want children and I do or he doesn’t Marriage and I do or vice versa then you say well man.
I wasted all this time. He was just wasting my time. He played me and maybe it was just both of you didn’t know how to communicate to each other. He didn’t play you just you didn’t ask the right questions that happens a lot.
3.Third one would be when there’s a change of heart
these feels painful sometimes because the guy starts out one way and then ends up a different way. That means he starts by saying I want children. I want marriage. I want deep devotional love.
I won monogamy and then halfway in between he changes his mind on either what he wants and those different factors or who he wants it with right and that feels like he played you but he didn’t play you maybe he just changed his heart now, there’s ways to do it that are honoring and there’s ways to do it that are not honoring but everybody you included are allowed to change your mind.
Now the challenging piece for most women who tell me there’s a change of heart is that they noticed something was off something was not where it needed to be and they let it go. They let it go. They pushed it down. They didn’t ask the right questions.
Then they didn’t set a strong boundary and then the shit hit the fan eventually, but it could have been avoided or at least a six cut off sooner than it happened had both of you have the clarity and the courage to ask the right questions and to set the right boundaries.
So that’s another one change of heart. Not necessarily being played. It’s you because I hear from lots of women who changed their mind in the middle of a relationship and say to a guy I can’t no longer do this.
4. last one is confusion.
And this one is challenging because sometimes the guy is confused. He’s confused from the start and you confuse you yourself can fuse the intensity feel for him for well. It’s so intense that it must be right. It must be my soul mate and it’s not he’s just a guy who’s confused.
He doesn’t know what the hell he wants. He’s not doing what he needs to do to get his life in order his finances in order and he doesn’t have what it takes to step into a long-term relationship because he can’t metaphorically wipe his own ass. How can he step into something that Requires devotion and giving of himself and surrendering right?
It’s just that it’s just an but if you connect a confused guy because he tells you that he loves you and because he really wants to be with you even though he can’t he feels like he played you so I just want to make sure that you understand that not all times you say I was played you were really plate now, here are things you can do right now that you understand the truth of this to mitigate the risk of being played or experiencing this misalignment change of heart or confusion.
1.The first one is get clear on what you want.
Why do I start with that? Because I’ve connected with tons of women when I ask them. What do you want to give me a vague answer?
And when I asked them do you want children they lie to themselves sometimes and they say yes, I do when they don’t or they say I don’t really think I do when they do so be very clear as to what you want because if you want for example monogamy versus an open relationship.
it matters for the type of guy you connect with if you want children versus no children or your open Button. I was really attached to it. It matters right because guys want different things.
Do you want marriage or not? Do you want that piece of paper that says were legally bound to each other or do you not care about it?
It matters all those little things and the type of vision that you have for the future types of things you want to do you like traveling or not get clear and what it is that you want so that when you connect to a man you can say, you know what it’s similar to what I want similar enough to where I’m willing to compromise or two different .
I’m not willing to compromise the second one second thing you can do to reduce the risk of feeling played is
Ask better questions earlier on what does that mean?
It means that if you connect to a man who is not wanting the kind of vision that you hope for yourself for your life for your intimacy and you find out month number six or seven or eight or year. Number one that it’s not what you want and you really could have asked that question on the first date and many times you can.
Then you do yourself the serves the biggest problem. I found in terms of women are asking good questions earlier on is they feel I don’t want to pressure him. I don’t want him to think. I’m desperate. It’s not about being desperate. You’re not asking him. Do you see yourself having a giving me babies? No, you asked him.
Are you interested in having children at some point in your life?
Awesome when I mean like when do you see that happening? How what why is that exciting for you? You can ask questions that relate to him that don’t necessarily include you in the picture and get a clear. Yes clear no or a maybe and based on that. You can either invest more time or cut your losses way Shorter .
What does that mean?
You can have a guy who’s roomy or have fees embodied into manhood and he can tell you the most beautiful poetry and he can light up your ears with passion and words and just beautiful.
Expressions of himself the actions. He takes are far more significant than the words. He utters is anyone who has a passionate heart can get ahead of himself and say things that he either doesn’t really mean or that he means but doesn’t have the god Leone who needs a connoisseur testicles or balls and short to follow through and actually make it happen. Right?
So you want a guy with strong sense of manhood in himself metaphorically speaking so that he can take action on the words that he says that he’s interested in. So if he says I love you.
Well, what’s the proof of that in real action? I’m really interested in whatever like is he really taking action? That’s where I would focus my mind in versus just the words he’s saying and I think words are not important words are very important, but they’re more not more important than actions.
Last one is take longer to become exclusive widens.
The funny thing happens. You connect to a man.
You get really attached you get emotionally connected you get physically sexually connected and then letting go of him is way harder, even when he’s not the right fit, even when he’s doing things that he shouldn’t be doing to be in a monogamous relationship.
So if you take longer to connect with them, if you take longer to be exclusively it take longer to even have sex with him all those things then your rational mind will have more time to gauge and put some stops and see red flags that you would not have seen if you happen to go all in the first date. I hear women who tell me burned you just don’t understand.
I just met this guy last week, but it feels like I’ve known him forever and I say I know it feels that way but it’s not fucking true. You don’t know him for real. You don’t know him even though your soul feels like you do now. Is it possible that you your hypothesis is right. It’s possible but it’s not a given so take longer to actually tell yourself that you really know him when you just feel connected with him.
but you really didn’t know he is hope this is helpful insightful and useful for you.
Thank you so much for connecting with me as always a challenging to leave a full conscious life.
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