How to get a guy to commit to a relationship.

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a lot of women do not feel completely relaxed about being together with a guy who is not reliable and doesn’t want to keep the passion, the interest, the connection deep and strong so that you can actually experience, finally, a really beautiful long term relationship.

This is perfect for someone who is single and dating and also for someone who is currently in a relationship who wants to improve that connection.

But how can you as a woman make him committed to you, let’s go through in this article?

#1. Respect him in his way.

#1.Respect him in his way.

Each of us has an idea of what respect means and on many levels, we have some similar ideas of what this means and yet as individual person, we have some specific ways that really applies to us uniquely that makes us feel respected by another person.

This means if you want to build a deep devoted connection with your man or a future man, it’s important to know what respect means to him. What it is that you can do to make him feel really

  • valued,
  • needed,
  • wanted,
  • appreciated.

Now, this is not really so much about the five lovely languages which you may have heard of, this goes on to a little bit of a different kind of tangent. For example, someone feels really respected when a woman thanks him when he pays for dinner.

Now there are plenty of women that never thank a man for paying them for dinner and it can be a massive turn-off because it’s like just they expect a man to pay for everything.

So if you want a man to feel respected, one way you can do that is by thanking him very clearly for paying for dinner, for taking you out on a date or whatever it is, paying for the movies, lunch, you get my drift.  And yet is one of those things you can do to make a man feel respected. 

And of course, you’ll be able to work out these kinds of things specifically that work for him all the time.

Another example is, I had a friend a couple of years ago and the guy had a real problem with the fact that his girlfriend would never respond to his text messages when she was out with girlfriends.

So he was of one of those types, he was sending crazy messages all night trying to get her attention because he was jealous and feeling insecure but you may just ask her a quick question and she just wouldn’t respond, sometimes for hours and hours or not even until the next day and he could see that she had seen the message and it was something that made him feel real, you know, undervalued, not respected and therefore it was creating a bit of a problem.

And so we have to work together because she really didn’t see the value in responding to him and yet he was very adamant that this would be something that would actually make him feel better in the relationship.

So that’s an example, a big one for me which is actually one of those things where many people are when people under their word.

I feel respected when someone follows through with what they say they’re going to do. Anyone who knows may know that’s one of my things. And for me it’s not that people can’t change their plans, they absolutely can, things change all the time.

But it’s about communicating respectfully in my way that creates a sense of safety for me within the relationship.

Many people have this one but not everybody places the same value on this kind of thing.

So it’s important for you to work out what it is that makes your partner tick, what it is that makes your man feel really really amazing around you and valued, and respected.

The next point is

#2. Don’t nag him.

I know how easy it is to want to nag and sometimes we don’t think we’re nagging, we think we’re actually explaining or saying what we need to feel good in a relationship.

It’s kind of like we think we’re requesting something when in actual fact we’re just winging and whining. One of the hugest, biggest turn-offs for anybody is when someone is constantly nagging at you and saying things that make you feel like you’re always doing something wrong.

Wronging someone over and over and over again, sometimes on daily, multiple times a day on daily can really eat up someone’s soul.

So, a way that someone feels respected is if we actually articulate clearly at the right time what it is that we’re struggling with within the relationship so you can open up a line of conversation to work it out.

Because nagging is often done by women because they’re not feeling confident enough to really be vulnerable to actually explain, explicitly what it is that’s troubling them within the relationship.

Even in the early stages of dating, it’s very common for women to make jokes about the things that don’t feel good that is happening between a man and a woman or between two people rather than actually putting it out there clearly, it becomes a game.

So the overall message here is to be courageous to express your needs without drama. The next point is

#3.  Listen to him, don’t speak for him.

Women are really good at this. they can sometimes ask a man a question, a really important question about something that is a little bit deeper about the relationship that they really like to talk or about something that he is going through personally and instead of giving a man space to think and feel and collect his thoughts so he can actually express himself with clarity and in a way that is probably received well, women can start making suggestions. Suggest what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling.

  So learn to zip your mouth and actually allow the man time to think, and feel, and collect himself. And even for women if someone asks you something deep and personal or something that really needs a little bit of thought, it’s not necessarily easy to respond in two seconds. 

Sometimes we really need to go in deep within ourselves to find the words to articulate how we’re thinking and feeling.

Sometimes we don’t even know what we’re thinking and feeling cause we haven’t sat down long enough in some silence to even you know put our thoughts together and men generally struggle more than women do when it comes to articulating their thoughts, feelings, and so forth, particularly when it comes to the matter of the heart.

So if you’re having a deep and meaningful conversation with a man, it’s imperative that you be a little shushy and allow him time to think and speak.

He will feel highly respected which allows that sense of devotion and connection to build which is required for a deeply connected devoted partnership. And so this is something that women must learn to do so that they can actually build that deeper devotion with the man.

Also what a man is thinking and feeling may be very different from what you’re assuming.

And so this is why it is so important because we all have insecurities from time to time, we all have triggers and sometimes a man is doing something for a very different reason than you might think he is and when you find out what it is, you might actually feel quite a lot better about what is actually taking place which leads me to my next point which is replace conflict with curiosity.

Now you can’t get rid of all conflicts but one way that you can diffuse conflict really quickly is to choose the path of curiosity. When you show that you’re curious about your man and his feelings this allows you to have a deeper connection, a deeper understanding.

This point leads not only from listening but it’s also about asking the right questions.

How are you perceiving that situation, how do you feel about that? I’d love your thoughts on x, y, and z. When that happened yesterday between us, when you said this thing to me, my perspective was this, how were you thinking about it, was that the same for you? When you ask him this kind of exploratory question just seeking to understand him rather than make him wrong.

Because as I said earlier making someone wrong never feels good, it doesn’t open up the path to devotion, it doesn’t open people’s hearts either, it closes us down. So when we assume things and don’t ask questions, when we’re pushing our ideas, our triggers,
our insecurities on someone constantly without asking those important questions, without trying to solve a problem together as a team then it becomes a battle, it becomes an ego game.
The conflict becomes much deeper and more difficult to resolve.  So choose the path of curiosity.
The last point is

#4. Don’t forget who you are.

one of the quickest ways to actually create disconnection in a relationship is when we are disconnected from ourselves.
If you would like to have a loving, tender, sexy relationship with a man and it’s really important that you keep that loving, sexy relationship happening with yourself, you’ve got to stay in love with you, you’ve got to stay devoted to you and your own interest.
You’ve got to keep doing the things that you love that bring you joy, whether it’s
  • whether it’s painting,
  • whether it’s seeing friends,
  • whether it’s dancing,
 because it’s one of those things that so many people forget to do.
They lose their sense of self because they get so invested and entrenched in a relationship, that somehow it did happen naturally even if their relationship is quite good but it particularly happens when the relationship isn’t flowing and because of that the women get so obsessed with making the relationship work that they lose themselves and this happens time and time again and it’s one of those massive issues when it comes to lasting attraction and devotion.
 So there you have it keep looking after you, keeping devoted to yourself which creates
devotion within our world. So I hope those tips have helped you.

 

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