You might be having a lot of anxiety and self-doubt about your relationship with a guy you really like, but just feel like you don’t really know what you’re doing, you are not the only one! And at one point you might say “I don’t know how to be a girlfriend or even accept the fact that I am someone’s girlfriend,” which made me think this was worth a whole article. Because how do you become a good girlfriend?
I would say there’s not really one right way. But there are a few wrong ways.
#1. Take a deep breath.
You’re in a relationship with someone that you really like. Yay! I know that it’s super exciting but also super scary. It’s really easy to start second-guessing yourself or fearing that you’re not good enough or wondering why the two of you came together in the first place. Second,
let’s think about some ways to NOT be a good girlfriend.
- Making the relationship all about you and disregarding their feelings.
- Saying abusive or hurtful things to them.
- Pressuring them to do things they don’t want to do,
- or to spend money that they don’t have.
- Going on dates and kissing other guys when you’re already in a committed monogamous relationship
Okay, so those things make you a bad girlfriend.
Don’t do them. Easy!
#3. No real roadmap or rulebook.
Realize that there’s no real roadmap or rulebook to being a good girlfriend.
Other than avoiding those things that I just listed. Being a good girlfriend might be talking to them on the phone every day or sending a few texts every day or so that they know you’re thinking about them. It might be planning really elaborate dates or gifts for them or it might just be you hanging out at their house with them when they’re feeling sick .
Being a good girlfriend might even be doing something new and out of your comfort zone if they ask you to, or it could be just setting a firm boundary about what you feel comfortable doing.
I think the key line of thought here is staying true to yourself is what makes you a good girlfriend . But that’s the hard part! I don’t even know who I am anymore!
This whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing is making me crazy and nervous!
I know! This is where step #4 comes in:
#4. And that is to open up.
If this is your first boyfriend or a first serious relationship in a while, then it’s completely natural to feel extra protective of your heart. And the change from just friends with a guy to actually being “in a relationship” can feel super weird.
At one point you felt like you could tell them anything but now you’re afraid to even chew in front of them. But the best advice I can give you is to slowly but surely open up your clenched first around your heart and to let this guy in.
Dating–the good, the bad, and the ugly–is not just about you getting to know the person that you’re dating and seeing if they’re a potential lifetime partner. It’s also a time to learn about yourself.
What you need and want in a lifetime partner and how you deal with disappointment, heartbreak, and contentment. So what I’m saying is, this relationship might be the end-all-be-all. Or it might not.
You might be the BEST girlfriend in the world! Or the whole thing might just be kind of “meh.” But you’ll learn from it either way, and that’s actually the most exciting part. So fifth, you should go into a relationship with the mindset that
#5. You are worthy of being loved.
This is an opportunity to find a lifetime partner to do life with. They like you! That’s why they wanted to be in a relationship with you! So try not to let the anxiety and the “you’re not good enough” fears overtake you. Because you are good enough! They like you for you. So just keep showing them who that is.