Research on perception and attention shows that we see more of what we look for, so if you’re looking for signs of kindness, that’s more likely to stand out to you. How you think about and interpret your partner’s actions, intentions, and words also affects how you feel and understand a situation with them, which in turn affects how you behave toward them.

Put it into practice: Spend a week looking for anything and everything your partner does “right.” You can even jot down anything you notice for each day if you choose.

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Couples who engage in exciting and enjoyable activities together have greater relationship satisfaction from before to after the shared activity. As several studies have shown.

Put it into practice: Choose an activity with your partner that you’ve never done together before that you would both find engaging and fun, such as taking dancing lessons, staying the night at a new town and exploring it, or indoor skydiving. You can also try something with your partner that he or she enjoys that you’ve never done before.

What else is related to long-term passionate love? Sexual intimacy, shared affection, and happiness in life.

Increasing research is pointing to a great sex life as predicting better relationship satisfaction—but not the other way around. One such examined data from hundreds of couples to determine the relationships among sexual satisfaction, marital quality, and marital instability at midlife..

Studies on appreciation in romantic relationships show that expressing gratitude to your partner predicts an increase in your relationship satisfaction. The gratitude you feel inside also predicts your partner’s level of satisfaction. Feeling appreciated by your partner seems to increase how much you appreciate him or her in return—which positively affects how much you feel committed to the relationship and want to do things to meet your partner’s needs..

The relationship you have with yourself is arguably the foundation on which your other relationships are built, and studies are supporting this notion. High self-esteem predicts better relationship satisfaction, and high self-esteem of both partners is an even better predictor of strong relationship satisfaction. Moreover, people with high self-esteem appear to respond more constructively and positively during conflict when they think their partner is committed to the relationship, whereas people with low self-esteem don’t do this even when they believe their partner is committed..